Sunday Papers!

Hello everyone!

It has been almost a week since i have posted anything so there is some catching up to do, Buckle In!

Thursday was the last day of both chemo and rad, 6 straight weeks of Monster 1 and Monster 2, with 5 days a week of radiation being shot into the side of  head, (radiation takes weaken the weekends off for some reason [odd]....). Even before the treatments stopped i was feeling some significant effects, I mentioned previously that there must be some critical mass that is hit and causes the body to start reacting. This is really a significant issue that they neglected to mention.

Just about everything that they warned me about has come true, thrush, soreness, nausea, boo-boos that won't heal, taste buds don't work except for salt, sugar and sour, and SLEEP!!! The sleep factor cannot be understated. I get theses waves of needing to sleep about every 4 hours, not just drowsy but a full blown I must sleep now... feeling and I will go down for a couple of hours, wake up totally disoriented and take a half hour to figure out my situation, where was i how long was i out what am i supposed tot be doing right now as well as an emotional anchor dragging around my neck, this is pretty difficult to deal with. Thanks to B for being so understanding and helpful during these (and all other) stressful times. She is the one constant to me, not that other people are not, but when i turn around she is there every time with help and patience all the info that i need to help answer some question about some subject that i do not know the details on, as well as unconditional love, caring and concern. She is AMAZING. 

 So, here's the therapy timeline as it stands now for now, 28 days with nothing except necessary as needed medicine (anti biotics, headache and others) but no Monster1 or Monster2. During this time i am scheduled for another MRI which will help determine if there is to be more radiation or surgery. Regardless of the MRI results i will begin chemo (both monsters) at the end of the break.

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I have been thinking about collecting things, not starting collecting but things i have collected over time.

How much enjoyment i get out of certain things, right now as i type this i am listening to Fun Lovin Criminals, a great band from NYC, i have collected all their music, hardly anyone knows them, B knows some just because i push certain songs, (she is also great at humoring me!) I have a ton of music like that, and eBooks on Physics, and some eBooks of what i would call important fiction. They say that speaking in metaphor  is a higher form of communication. A metaphor allows you to express a complex idea in a more succinct manner. Think of it like this: I say Life is Like a Roller Coaster, and without explanation you understand the idea i am trying to get across, you could respond with But a Rolling Stone Gathers no Moss. The complex ideas get communicated more efficiently than if we had to explain the ideas behind the metaphor. The important fiction is like that.

I guess what i am getting at is that what i collect or amass over time has no real value outside of me. I want to share it all so my kids can enjoy or see the importance of these things. Over a lifetime you can share these things a bit at a time, who knows how much time me or ANYONE actually has. It is hard to accept the uselessness of some actions, when after all this time these things have been important. I have a chess book that was printed in the 1860's. Think of that, hand set type (in reverse cause that's how it was done back then), chess notation, it has no value (or minimal) but it is one of my favorite items.

I have to resist the urge to push what i see as important or valuable on those surrounding me, oddly it creeps up with a certain intensity, "I need to show BigADL this he can use this", but no. He's a big boy, the Dynamic Quality i posted about previously has to be organic, the quality exists for the consumer.

Ramble ramble ramble....

Thanks for listening (and listen to some Billy Bragg, you will love it)