Books and Gifts

My little S (sorry for the anonymity, but you know who you are), brought over presents yesterday while she was coming by to take me to chemo/rad. She had read a post written earlier entitled "what I want my kids to know".

My goal when i wrote that post was to try and show my boys and G some of the things that I felt were truly important. Love, math, science, curiosity, amazement, hope, absence of regret and more. The post wasn't quite finished and I was not sure how to continue it. Little S came up with a solution to a problem that I wasn't really aware of. Here is what she did...

Each book has a metal cover engraved with the name of the four kids and includes a beautiful ballpoint pen. I am amazed at what she did. My first thought was how in the world am I going to do this gift justice? They are beautiful. Then it occurred to me that my poor penmanship is what should be in there. Hand written notes, with edits and scribbles and cut-outs pasted in and different color writing and times and dates and fleeting thoughts on 1/2 a page and all the things that you say to your kids as you walk by them in the hallway and everything that you may never get to say because your working or busy or trying to do something else and all the little lessons about being polite and listening instead of talking or talking when you need to be heard and being strong by being weak when the time is right or how to choose what is best for you sometimes and what is best for everyone at other times how to remember to smile at people even when they are scowling because it is EASY and makes a difference.

When I lived in San Diego in the 80's I explored Zen Buddhism (more about that later) at an ashram for a brief amount of time.  There was an teacher that spoke occasionally, Charlotte Beck. There were several lessons that i still walk with today that are invaluable, the most profound lesson was 

The only thing necessary to experience complete happiness is to not compare this moment to any other.

BUT the most important and the hardest lesson to learn and assimilate was:

Be here, now.

Being here now, experiencing what is happening around you now not longing for . At first it is an exercise that distracts you from whateveryourdoing at the moment

So many complicated ideas that build on each other so complicated that they become instinctual after a certain point, it's like trinomial equations, there is no solving them, theres a a range of write and wrong, you just know the rules for solving and apply them to the best of your ability.

No matter what a person prepares for nothing can get you ready for the event. Mike Tyson, yes Mike Tyson, said it best for me, he said "Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the jaw". I know it's Mike Tyson, but even a stopped clock is right twice a day. (No offence Mike, big fan, big fan).

Anyway, this ahs went on for a lot longer than i expected. Thanks again LittleS.